You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
