yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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