I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
