doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
