That's when you crack a 10am beer
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
