do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize