ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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