my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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