...so i touched it.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
