I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
