girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
