You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
