I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
