Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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