We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
