He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
