Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
