first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
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I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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