They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
