the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
