Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
