walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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