I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
