Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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