i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
