My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
