every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
