Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
