I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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