so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Im part way to drunk.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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