girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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