We're facebook friends in real life
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm too high and old for this...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize