i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
