haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
