Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
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he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
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God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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