I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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