There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize