oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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