Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
