He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I stole a fireplace last night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
