Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
