i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
