I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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