I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
