I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
