the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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