i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
