I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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