Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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