i barfeds in our rink
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
