I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
