dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
