so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
