my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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