ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
