I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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