I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize