The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
