Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
