Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Houston, we have a squirter
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
